Heart broken..

You know when u go through life and u realize that u have made some uber mistakes.. 

100,000 years later and u dont really remember what happened, all you really know is that u hurt peoples feelings, or rubbed people the wrong way.. Or said something offensive?

Well I came to the realization that I did All of those things.. It makes me sad and Im not sure what to do about it. 

there are a couple people in my life that were directly effected by choices I made or things that I have sad. I'm trying to make and keep friendships.. And I've realized that I have ruined a lot of non-existent friendships that could have become amazing but were stopped before they were even started..   I use to think it was ok to talk about people behind there backs. To use people against each other and to get into the middle of fights I wasn't even a part of.  I get so excited about the he said-she said crap.. I would get super jealous over dumb things.. Tell big huge whoppin lies and then stumble to keep them straight.. 

Im not that girl anymore.. I havent been that girl in a super long time.. I wont ever be that girl again. But Ive come to realize that who I was has kind of tainted people views of who I am now.. 

     I'm actually a really really good friend. I am loyal and I'll stand up for you and behind u.. The friends I do have I have kept for a very long time.  My very best friend i have had since I was 11.  She knows who I am.. The real me.. The broken down me. The me that doesn't have makeup on or perfect hair.. The me that snores and talks when she sleeps. The me that Went through hell and back.. She was there for me through every mistake and triumph. She was there for me every through every broken heart and love spell.. I'm so lucky to have her.. 

             Sara

              .. You are absolutely my best friend.. My sister..  I am so thankful for everything that u have done and will do for me. U have held my hand through the toughest and most amazing things in my life.  I love you girl!  I hope I have and will continue to return the favor because I owe u that..