What it takes to do what I do everyday.

Acting Skills, Teaching Skills, Writing Skills, Healing Skills, Reading Skills, Math Skills, Cooking Skills, Believing in the impossible skills. And most importantly Binge Drinking Skills.
Not everyone can do it.. and only the Greats
(Like me) can do it well.. Being a Mother, A wife, A lover, a fighter, a Narrator, A director, a teacher of fine human skills is hard work.. And this is how I do it. Or try anyway.

Thursday, December 22, 2011

Social Media.

How much social media can one girl handle??
Penzu, (isn't really social but you know)
I think it's an addiction
I can't stop.
Someone send me a rope
A lifesaver
A floaty
A lighthouse.
I'm drowning in an ocean of 
Socialized Chaos!!

Sunday, December 18, 2011


I'm usually so overwhelmed
Out of my mind
and out of control this time of year.
But strangely I feel at peace
I feel calm and in control..
Maybe it's the 300 mg Effexor and 10,000 ius of Vitamin D3
Whatever it is it's working!!! 
And I'm loving my life right now!


Wednesday, December 7, 2011

The Road that Got me..

Here was a long 
winding road. 
It was narrow in places
and Wide with Baron land in others
There were Muddy Rivers
Ice cold lakes
And lots of Creatures from the woods
I'm making my way
one step at a time. 
and hoping I get where 
I need to stay. 

Go with my on my Journey to Grown.
I'm 26 now, I have 2 amazing kids
 a husband who is strong and Mighty
Meek and Mild
Lovely and Disgusting. 
But he holds my hand 
the whole way. 
No matter what I put him through.. 
I'm on my way out of the dense woods 
and Into the Light of the day. 

No Blog

Things have been looking up for me lately. 
Other than being horribly sick
Last weekend.

I really feel good. Not just Physically but emotionally
I lean on this blog when I'm down and Out.
For relief from the Waste Land 
My moods can be. 

So that's why I haven't been keeping up.
I feel good. 
I hope it lasts. 


Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Not knowing what is needed..

I'm Lost.. 
My brain has finally
managed to swallow
me whole.
My whole body...
Lost in the secret passageways
opening and closing 
the drawers and safes that 
have been tucked into all the dark corners of my mind.
knowing, that they shouldn't be open.

Remembering things that I thought weren't real
finding truths and witnessing the things that I have been hiding for so long..

I was triggered. 
MY stalker. 
The one who loosened the lug nuts on my car
when I was a junior in high school.
WEll I ran into him at 
I recognized his voice first
and then I turned around and I saw his face..
His horrible, scary face.
He smiled at me. 
And I turned around and grabbed my kids
and ran to my husband as fast as I could..
He knows I have kids now. 
and that scares me. 
All of the sudden I feel much less safe.. 
All of the sudden  I feel weak 
and control less over the power of my kids. 

I have an appointment with a psychiatrist next week. 
And I hope it helps me..
Because I am losing my freaking mind!!

Sunday, September 11, 2011

Never Forget..

So many Lives Were Changed that day..
I know mine was..

Take a moment and listen to this.
Remember how you felt 10 years ago today
Remember what it felt like
When you saw those towers fall.
Remember what you thought
when you saw the pictures of Our 
Brothers and Sisters 
Digging each other out of the rubble
Remember the ringing in your ears
when you hear the word
My life has never been the same.

My Children are going to only know
my memories.
God forbid they never have to experience something like this for themselves.
but through  history.
We know it's only a matter of time. 
Remember today.. 
Pray for our country. 

Friday, September 2, 2011

Who knew..

That every Damn thing we learned
would be the most
important things we would EVER need to know
in our whole entire lives.

My Daughter Eliza went to Kindergarten this week.
She is so beautiful
Grown up
She is {Mostly} a great friend
{and by mostly I mean if the people around her do what she wants them to do}
She is compassionate
and Most of all
My very best friend in the whole world.
I miss her so much when she is at school for those 2 hours and 55 minutes.

She was sent home today with all of her activity sheets that she did this week.
Her coloring pages
and number and letter tracings
her calender for the month
and notes from the teacher.
got this, and I NEVER in my life
looked at Kindergarten this way
but Its makes more sense to me
than breathing..
I hope you enjoy it..

by Robert Fulghum
- an excerpt from the book, All I Really Need To Know I Learned in Kindergarten

All I really need to know I learned in kindergarten.
ALL I REALLY NEED TO KNOW about how to live and what to do
and how to be I learned in kindergarten. Wisdom was not
at the top of the graduate-school mountain, but there in the
sandpile at Sunday School. These are the things I learned:

Share everything.
Play fair.
Don't hit people.
Put things back where you found them.
Clean up your own mess.
Don't take things that aren't yours.
Say you're sorry when you hurt somebody.
Wash your hands before you eat.
Warm cookies and cold milk are good for you.
Live a balanced life - learn some and think some
and draw and paint and sing and dance and play
and work every day some.
Take a nap every afternoon.
When you go out into the world, watch out for traffic,
hold hands, and stick together.
Be aware of wonder.
Remember the little seed in the styrofoam cup:
The roots go down and the plant goes up and nobody
really knows how or why, but we are all like that.
Goldfish and hamsters and white mice and even
the little seed in the Styrofoam cup - they all die.
So do we.

And then remember the Dick-and-Jane books
and the first word you learned - the biggest
word of all - LOOK.

Everything you need to know is in there somewhere.
The Golden Rule and love and basic sanitation.
Ecology and politics and equality and sane living.

Take any of those items and extrapolate it into
sophisticated adult terms and apply it to your
family life or your work or your government or
your world and it holds true and clear and firm.
Think what a better world it would be if
all - the whole world - had cookies and milk about
three o'clock every afternoon and then lay down with
our blankies for a nap. Or if all governments
had a basic policy to always put thing back where
they found them and to clean up their own mess.

And it is still true, no matter how old you
are - when you go out into the world, it is best
to hold hands and stick together.