Your Love is my drug..

But not my drug of choice..
I live a complicated life.
"Oh the Webs we weave" is my life's motto
I love many. I hate many. I laugh at (meanly) many
I think about many. I Dream of a life I cant have.
The grass is ALWAYS greener on the other side.
And then we get to the other side and we realize
Its Astro-Turf.. Your grass might not of been perfectly green
But it was lush under your feet.
I've always wondered what It would be like to be someone else.
Someone I don't know. Someone who has a super Posh life.
Beautiful, Skinny, Single, Rich.
Would I still be self-medicating?
I want to be addicted to Benzo's.
I want to be addicted to Life.
I want to be free of the burdens.
I wish only for love by many, Not by one.
I wish for hope and happiness.
Not Fear of Necessity.
I'm sounding horribly Selfish aren't I?
I need a break from reality. A Drink or 2.....or 17
I have been happy lately. But not Blissful.
Will it EVER be enough?
I dream of the kind of happiness I want.
A High Powered Job. People Bowing at my feet.
No worries of Sickness or Money.
Not having to answer to a 4 and 7 year old.
Not having to answer to myself.
Maybe Ignorance Is what I wish for.
Ignorant Bliss.. Is there such a thing?
hmmm. My journey will never end. So for now.
I must be content with what I have. Who I am.
Not what I want or Who I wish to be.
I need to keep myself busy. Or I'll Drown in my own misery.