realizations..

#1 Nothing is Ever as it seems

#2 I am never going to be happy.

Never.

Not because nothing makes me happy.

But because Emotionally I cannot

grasp the Emotion. 

#3 Death is becoming less of a joke to me

#4 We will never be who "they" want us to be

we will only be who we are

#5 Life isn't what you make of it.

Its what you Create it to be.

#6 My husband is amazingly amazing.

He will stand by me even when I am standing on 

the ledge about ready to jump off.

#7 I'm never going to be free of guilt

Guilt is the only true emotion I EVER feel.

Guilt because I was unable to change the past

Guilt for not standing up for her, when I knew No one else would

Guilt for allowing my emotions to override my brain

Guilt for Making him sick with grief because I can't be happy 

with who I am. 

#8 My children Might not always love me.

But NO matter What. I will love them

And they will always have a place to come home to when

life gets the best of them

#9 I might not be the best teacher,

But I love with abandon and my children with

realize my shortcomings come from love

#10 Anxiety takes over my brain. 

and I realized that Sometime I need it to.

It allows me to reboot and prioritize in order to make it stop. 

Anxiety is my Kryptonite. 

But unlike Superman. I can get back up