What it takes to do what I do everyday.

Acting Skills, Teaching Skills, Writing Skills, Healing Skills, Reading Skills, Math Skills, Cooking Skills, Believing in the impossible skills. And most importantly Binge Drinking Skills.
Not everyone can do it.. and only the Greats
(Like me) can do it well.. Being a Mother, A wife, A lover, a fighter, a Narrator, A director, a teacher of fine human skills is hard work.. And this is how I do it. Or try anyway.

Showing posts with label Feb BlogFest. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Feb BlogFest. Show all posts

Saturday, February 5, 2011

Craziness.. and Lots and Lots of tears..

things got crazy at my parents house yesterday, 
fighting. Words exchanging
Hearts breaking. 
Jason had to get me out of there.
SO we packed up a few things for the night and ran away to 
My sisters house. 
Spent the night. Went to dinner.
Cried some more. 
Thank god for my sister.
She can be the head that I need to keep
when mine is exploding. 
Jason has also been a Saving grace for me.
he lets me scream. He lets me cry.
He lets me punch and kick.
he lets me scream and yell.
And after everything we have gone through
he can still pick me up and put back my pieces. 
Im grateful for yesterday..
Lessons learned. 
Learned how to act.
What to say and where do say it.

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Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Your Love is my drug..

But not my drug of choice..
I live a complicated life.
"Oh the Webs we weave" is my life's motto
I love many. I hate many. I laugh at (meanly) many
I think about many. I Dream of a life I cant have.
The grass is ALWAYS greener on the other side.
And then we get to the other side and we realize
Its Astro-Turf.. Your grass might not of been perfectly green
But it was lush under your feet.
I've always wondered what It would be like to be someone else.
Someone I don't know. Someone who has a super Posh life.
Beautiful, Skinny, Single, Rich.
Would I still be self-medicating?
I want to be addicted to Benzo's.
I want to be addicted to Life.
I want to be free of the burdens.
I wish only for love by many, Not by one.
I wish for hope and happiness.
Not Fear of Necessity.
I'm sounding horribly Selfish aren't I?
I need a break from reality. A Drink or 2.....or 17
I have been happy lately. But not Blissful.
Will it EVER be enough?
I dream of the kind of happiness I want.
A High Powered Job. People Bowing at my feet.
No worries of Sickness or Money.
Not having to answer to a 4 and 7 year old.
Not having to answer to myself.
Maybe Ignorance Is what I wish for.
Ignorant Bliss.. Is there such a thing?
hmmm. My journey will never end. So for now.
I must be content with what I have. Who I am.
Not what I want or Who I wish to be.
I need to keep myself busy. Or I'll Drown in my own misery.
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